We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
