his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
