Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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