i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
