I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
