Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
