i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I think i got beer on your cat.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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