How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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