I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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