she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
