It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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