Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
