Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
