Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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