I need help removing her.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
