yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize