So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
