You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize