Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
