finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
