they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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