fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
