if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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