When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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