Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
