Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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