Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize