The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
