Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
