Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize