Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
