Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
