Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
