Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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