I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
