Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You are the jesus of drinking
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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