life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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