I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
