We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
