She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize