I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
This toilet bowl is my home.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
