Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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