garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize