do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my poor anus
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
