the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
