As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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