I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I will die if light touches me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
