I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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