Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she smelled like a LAN party
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
