Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
