I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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