he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
