Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
