Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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