I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If I die, sorry about rent.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
