Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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