Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize