1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
