I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
