"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
