she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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