He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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