HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
