youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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