so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just google imaged poop.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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