Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize