sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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